I wouldn't change a thing. 2010 was an eye-opening year for me and I'm happy. "Change" makes me think regret and I don't have any. Everything happened as it should have and whatever changes needed or still need to be made, I believe God has a plan for it. So now, I work hard to get ready and wait on Him.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I love to please the woman Im with in bed what pleases you the most
really liking and wanting to be there with the person i'm with.
Are you looking for love or have you found it
I've found love...Everyday I wake up I'm surrounded by people who geniunely love me. Do I think there's more? Yes.
Would you date an older man?
sure would...why? do you know one for me? make sure he's rich and generous.
What was the most interesting place you've traveled to?
Hmmmm...I'd have to say Detroit. It's supposed to be so desolate and scary but the version I saw ( gay bars, hole in the walls, Bentley's galore and an ICP convention) definitely makes me want to go back.
What was the best job you've ever had?
The job I have now. Flexible hours, no co workers, great perks.
Would you rather get up early or sleep late?
Sleep late all the time. Although I'm learning that nothing comes to a sleeper but a dream so I get up early, grumpy and all.
Who's the most beautiful person you know?
I know a few beautiful people, but I'm speaking in terms of internal beauty. For every bad influence, hater or just plain ugly person that I meet, I have a handful of people in my life whose good outshines them all. It's hard for me to say who is the most beautiful but the top 3 would have to be Aunt Kim, Ms. Ann and my grandmother.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Do people tell you ur A know it all reason I ask we have the birthday may 9th
Not as much as I used to. I learned that people generally don't like know it alls. So I don't say broadcast as much, I usually just wait for them to realize!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
How many times have you thought about an ex? Your sister you don't talk to? Your middle school bff or anybody you many have fallen out with?
I know people say that all things end with time and we rarely have control over when that time is. From my experiences, whenever I get that feeling it's never when I'm ready for it. It comes at the wrong time when there are already so many other things going on and something just clicks and it's like "Ok, I don't have time for this situation anymore."
I haven't exactly booted a boatload of people out of my life, but at 25 there have been a lot of schoolyard/coworker/relationship/I-don't-want-to-ever-talk-to-you-again moments and they all happen the same way. Bullshit occurs, I dismiss it, repeat a few hundred times, major bullshit occurs, I go crazy, regular bullshit occurs, hype off major bullshit, regular bullshit or bullshitter is dismissed. And it often feels great, like at the end of the day when you take your bra off.
But once things calm down, the thoughts of said bullshit or bullshitter often creep back into my mind. And then I think, was I wrong? Did I handle things the correct way? Could things have been handled differently? Should I go back and apologize and in some cases, let the bullshitter know that I feel like I'm owed one?
With the increasing popularity of social networks, people can more easily access ones that once may have banished from their lives. So it's no longer as easy as moving or changing your number or jobs to disappear from the face of the Earth. A recent study showed that more and more people are using these can't-live-without-applications to apologize to people they used to bully, the girl who's boyfriend you slept with or even to confront people who they feel like owe them an apology.
On the surface I think it seems like a good idea to go and mend broken bonds but according to the study it does more harm than good. After so many years a person may have gotten over whatever the issue is or was and an overdue apology may actually just bring up bad memories especially if the person isn't ready or simply doesn't want to forgive. On the other hand, if you're doing the confronting, it can't possibly end well if the other person doesn't even feel as if they have committed a wrong.
The study revealed that most often times these overdue apologies are usually given out of guilt and to relieve the offender of any bad feelings NOT because a person is genuinely apologetic. And I don't disagree at all. I mean really, how sincere should one take an email apology? Even if that is the only form of communication available at least an attempt on a face-to-face meeting or telephone number exchange or something seems better than you spilling your guts via your keyboard. It doesn't really seem sincere, heartfelt or important for the other person to really know when you think about how easy it is to not read or see or forget to go back and read an email.
In all honesty, I believe that in some cases it's best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I try not to go back and forth with people in and out of my life and if someone does something to be on the outs, they should stay there. Whether they're out at my choice or theirs doesn't matter. If the situation didn't end correctly, it doesn't matter. I hate to leave a wound open, but with time and some prayer, everything heals. Even me. With or without giving or getting the apology in question.
Apologizing is something that used to be rather difficult for me, especially because I thought I could never be wrong. Both things are something that I have been working on and I have to say that I've made major strides. One thing it's caused me to do is review all my past actions and relationships and wonder if there is anybody out there who feels like I've wronged them in one way or another and review how I feel about those who have wronged me. I have to say that pressing forward seems like the best option for me at this time.
There isn't a point in going out of your way to bring up old issues if you feel comfortable in your life now and don't need the approval or forgiveness of another person. There isn't a point in trying to force someone to see the errors in his or her ways or to prove how much you've changed. When it all boils down, no one, two or three people on this planet can judge us, our hearts or how we handle ourselves. So if you should have apologized years ago, take that up with your God. If you feel like you're owed an apology, take that up with your God. Pray to get over the situation. Pray that God forgives your mistakes and move on with your life. No social network apologies needed.
I know people say that all things end with time and we rarely have control over when that time is. From my experiences, whenever I get that feeling it's never when I'm ready for it. It comes at the wrong time when there are already so many other things going on and something just clicks and it's like "Ok, I don't have time for this situation anymore."
I haven't exactly booted a boatload of people out of my life, but at 25 there have been a lot of schoolyard/coworker/relationship/I-don't-want-to-ever-talk-to-you-again moments and they all happen the same way. Bullshit occurs, I dismiss it, repeat a few hundred times, major bullshit occurs, I go crazy, regular bullshit occurs, hype off major bullshit, regular bullshit or bullshitter is dismissed. And it often feels great, like at the end of the day when you take your bra off.
But once things calm down, the thoughts of said bullshit or bullshitter often creep back into my mind. And then I think, was I wrong? Did I handle things the correct way? Could things have been handled differently? Should I go back and apologize and in some cases, let the bullshitter know that I feel like I'm owed one?
With the increasing popularity of social networks, people can more easily access ones that once may have banished from their lives. So it's no longer as easy as moving or changing your number or jobs to disappear from the face of the Earth. A recent study showed that more and more people are using these can't-live-without-applications to apologize to people they used to bully, the girl who's boyfriend you slept with or even to confront people who they feel like owe them an apology.
On the surface I think it seems like a good idea to go and mend broken bonds but according to the study it does more harm than good. After so many years a person may have gotten over whatever the issue is or was and an overdue apology may actually just bring up bad memories especially if the person isn't ready or simply doesn't want to forgive. On the other hand, if you're doing the confronting, it can't possibly end well if the other person doesn't even feel as if they have committed a wrong.
The study revealed that most often times these overdue apologies are usually given out of guilt and to relieve the offender of any bad feelings NOT because a person is genuinely apologetic. And I don't disagree at all. I mean really, how sincere should one take an email apology? Even if that is the only form of communication available at least an attempt on a face-to-face meeting or telephone number exchange or something seems better than you spilling your guts via your keyboard. It doesn't really seem sincere, heartfelt or important for the other person to really know when you think about how easy it is to not read or see or forget to go back and read an email.
In all honesty, I believe that in some cases it's best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I try not to go back and forth with people in and out of my life and if someone does something to be on the outs, they should stay there. Whether they're out at my choice or theirs doesn't matter. If the situation didn't end correctly, it doesn't matter. I hate to leave a wound open, but with time and some prayer, everything heals. Even me. With or without giving or getting the apology in question.
Apologizing is something that used to be rather difficult for me, especially because I thought I could never be wrong. Both things are something that I have been working on and I have to say that I've made major strides. One thing it's caused me to do is review all my past actions and relationships and wonder if there is anybody out there who feels like I've wronged them in one way or another and review how I feel about those who have wronged me. I have to say that pressing forward seems like the best option for me at this time.
There isn't a point in going out of your way to bring up old issues if you feel comfortable in your life now and don't need the approval or forgiveness of another person. There isn't a point in trying to force someone to see the errors in his or her ways or to prove how much you've changed. When it all boils down, no one, two or three people on this planet can judge us, our hearts or how we handle ourselves. So if you should have apologized years ago, take that up with your God. If you feel like you're owed an apology, take that up with your God. Pray to get over the situation. Pray that God forgives your mistakes and move on with your life. No social network apologies needed.
Monday, July 5, 2010
What did you do for your Birthday?
I got really, really, really drunk the day before since my bday was Mother's Day...I didn't go hard until Memorial Day in Memphis.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Tales from My Notebook: What Can Brown Do For You?
This is one of my the first pieces I wrote after I decided I wanted to become a blogger...
In the driveway at my mom’s house is a 2001 Suburban. Tan with leather seats, fully equipped with the soccer mom tv, seat massagers and a 3rd row that folds into the floor. She was convinced by the media, family members, and friends that since she had a lot of kids, a Suburban was the car for her. She longed for this car and scraped and saved and scraped and saved until she got her prize. The Suburban, or Brown as she calls it, has had a lot of miles and work put into it. After a few minor problems finally there was an accident. A little smashed in the front but still recognizable and not functional at all, Brown still resides in the driveway. If people come over, even Mom, there is only one parking spot now because of all the space Brown takes up.
Notice I said if people come over. No one really wants to circle the block for a parking space and walk down the block to her house. People have to rearrange their cars around Brown because even though it does her no good, she will not get rid of it. We told her to junk it, sell it, burn it, or give it to the car Gods. Just do anything to get it out of the way, but she is standing firm. Brown has done so much for her in the past that she can’t possibly get rid of it. Brown was there when she moved from her rental house to her home. Brown was there, going hard, on those harsh winter days to get her back and forth to work in 13 inches of snow. Brown was there for her through thick and thin, however the key word is WAS there. Brown does nothing now but take up space and remind her of how things USED to be.
A lot people are in similar situations. It may not be Brown, or a car but we still have things in our lives that do nothing but take up space and cause problems. Friends, jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends are sometimes factors in our everyday lives that we are holding on to simply out of habit simply because we have been told not to give up on things or people and that some things are meant to last forever. Because of that we put more and more work into creating these lasting relationships under the impression that when you come by something good, give your all to make it last.
This is true, but we also have to operate under the following belief system. People are put into your life for a reason or a season. Every job, friend or person that comes into our life is not meant to be around forever. Sometimes you have use situations for the season they were given to you, learn you lesson, incorporate it into your life and keep it moving. You could possibly miss out on blessings and other avenues because you are too busy working on something that isn’t meant to last.
It’s the responsibility of each and every person to look into their driveway and see who is useful and who is taking up space. Who or what are you holding onto simply because you are used to having it there? Who or what are you holding onto simply because you have been through everything together and one day things will be right? Who is useful to you and who is taking up space? Who is there to encourage, uplift, support and motivate you and who is there to show you that you have to be careful to your trust, show you that love is blind, or teach you some other lesson? Ask this question of everybody in your life: Are you here for a reason or a season??
In the driveway at my mom’s house is a 2001 Suburban. Tan with leather seats, fully equipped with the soccer mom tv, seat massagers and a 3rd row that folds into the floor. She was convinced by the media, family members, and friends that since she had a lot of kids, a Suburban was the car for her. She longed for this car and scraped and saved and scraped and saved until she got her prize. The Suburban, or Brown as she calls it, has had a lot of miles and work put into it. After a few minor problems finally there was an accident. A little smashed in the front but still recognizable and not functional at all, Brown still resides in the driveway. If people come over, even Mom, there is only one parking spot now because of all the space Brown takes up.
Notice I said if people come over. No one really wants to circle the block for a parking space and walk down the block to her house. People have to rearrange their cars around Brown because even though it does her no good, she will not get rid of it. We told her to junk it, sell it, burn it, or give it to the car Gods. Just do anything to get it out of the way, but she is standing firm. Brown has done so much for her in the past that she can’t possibly get rid of it. Brown was there when she moved from her rental house to her home. Brown was there, going hard, on those harsh winter days to get her back and forth to work in 13 inches of snow. Brown was there for her through thick and thin, however the key word is WAS there. Brown does nothing now but take up space and remind her of how things USED to be.
A lot people are in similar situations. It may not be Brown, or a car but we still have things in our lives that do nothing but take up space and cause problems. Friends, jobs, boyfriends/girlfriends are sometimes factors in our everyday lives that we are holding on to simply out of habit simply because we have been told not to give up on things or people and that some things are meant to last forever. Because of that we put more and more work into creating these lasting relationships under the impression that when you come by something good, give your all to make it last.
This is true, but we also have to operate under the following belief system. People are put into your life for a reason or a season. Every job, friend or person that comes into our life is not meant to be around forever. Sometimes you have use situations for the season they were given to you, learn you lesson, incorporate it into your life and keep it moving. You could possibly miss out on blessings and other avenues because you are too busy working on something that isn’t meant to last.
It’s the responsibility of each and every person to look into their driveway and see who is useful and who is taking up space. Who or what are you holding onto simply because you are used to having it there? Who or what are you holding onto simply because you have been through everything together and one day things will be right? Who is useful to you and who is taking up space? Who is there to encourage, uplift, support and motivate you and who is there to show you that you have to be careful to your trust, show you that love is blind, or teach you some other lesson? Ask this question of everybody in your life: Are you here for a reason or a season??
Thursday, April 1, 2010
United States of EricaMommyBombshell
I don't know who these people are, but I want to thank them for this song.
I really, really like music. When they say "it calms the savage beast" I really believe them. Whoever they are lol. But seriously though folks, since I write I actually listen to the lyrics in songs and try to decipher the hidden meanings. It's the geek in me, I can't help it.
So anyways, my life has been like a whirlwind lately and yesterday came really close to a breaking point. I wasn't gonna off myself or anything, but I was almost at that "Why me?" feeling. You know, right when you feel like nothing else can go wrong and if it does something or somebody is gonna get hurt?
So after a long day, I remember that I missed the season opener of US of Tara (Showtime, get you some) so I went to watch it On Demand. Now, I've never ever watched any episode of the show when it airs. I always watch it On Demand and have seen the whole 1st season twice. NEVER, have I really listened to and took in the words...until last night.
And that last phrase is all I heard really, but when I heard it everything just snapped into place like a puzzle piece. Tara suffers from a version of multiple personality disorder and on the show all of her "alters" are really just her. From Alice the homemaker to T (like the letter, not the drink) the rebellious teenager, they are all versions of Tara. When she just can't handle a certian situation anymore, she zonks out to let "other people" take on the situation. Instead of facing her problems, she runs from them and to doctors and meds and more problems.
I know in the show a dramatic event happened that made Tara this way, but she can't remember it which means she couldn't have dealt with, accepted or even acknowledged said problem. She didn't accept life. She didn't accept that sometimes shit happens. She didn't know that on the roller coaster of life after you go down you always come back up.
So just when I was laying down last night with the TV timer set to go off as soon as the show ended, I realized that I have to enjoy the ride. We all do or we'd all end up crazy and scattered. Yes I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, writer, model, blogger, aspiring author and publicist. As long I use God as my seatbelt on this rollercoaster of life, I can do all these things successfully and enjoy the ride. You can only ride once, might as well make the most of it.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Telephone Game
I know that I'm not in high school anymore and like most people I have a lot going on. A son, two jobs, two blogs, a house to take care of and don't forget my social networking time! So I really don't have a lot of time to be up caking all night, but I'm saying it seems like my phone calls are always about when and where we'll be meeting up.
And it's not like these are the only times I speak to anybody at all, but the other 89% of the time, we communicate via text. What the fuck is up with that? I mean, I know people can't talk all the time and I love the convience of a quick text message, but if we just met why is texting the preferred form of communication? Like, people really ask "Can you text me sometime?" You mean to tell me you want to text me to death for a week and then when we finally talk you sound like Alvin and you stutter? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I need to know these things before I get too wrapped up in your text stories!
I know I'm a hopeless romantic and I guess that makes me old school at the same time. I'll take being old school anytime if it means wanting a person to CALL me and see how my day went or CALL me to let me know they are thinking about me or CALL me just to say hi. I just don't want to be misunderstood when I say what's the point of giving you my number if you aren't going to call?
why you be bullshittin wit niggas??
I only bullshit niggas who I think are bullshitting me. sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. but i've never "bullshitted" anybody and looked back to regret it.
Do you have a twin sister in Jersey? Please say yes!
Nope...sowwy. Well I don't think so. My dad was a man whore so he prolly got a seed or two on the east coast lol...you just might luck up!
What's the origin of your name?
I just know that it's the feminine of Eric which means something like the one who holds power...I like to roll with that
when was the last time you had sex?
you'd have to ask the person I last had sex with...and idk if he has formspring
DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS ON HOW I CAN GET MORE ORGANIZED I AM REALLY TRYING BUT ITS NO GOOD, I HAVE LOTS GOING ON??
I'm not the most organized person...but I guess just make a list of priorities and get those together. Clean your house. Make a schedule and keep a to do list.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
does that booty get alot of attention?
damn right! good and bad though...when you feel like it and when you don't...it's a gift and a curse
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Kiss My Ass!
"I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie!"
If you jump up when you hear this song, and not because it's a hilarious song, but because you have a big butt and you love it, this bud's for you!
Well...us. I am so sick and tired of the booty hating going on in our society, especially between women (there are men booty haters but I'll deal with that at a later date). I mean, with the invention and uprising of butt pads, why are women still looking down and hating on The Booty Brigade?
In my case specifically, I know there will be those who say "It's not that your booty is big, but you don't have to show it like that" or whatever the latest phrase is but to them I say this: If I took pictures in too big sweatpants you and your man would still be able to see the Easter hams in my pants. Get over it! To those that say "You're disrespecting yourself" I say this: "Love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to IF YOU SEEK AMY!" Yes, I took this from the mouth of a one Ms. Britney Spears but that's why ifuxwithBritney! She's basically saying "LET ME BE GREAT!" and I feel her!
I don't necessarily think you should let Amy meet any and everybody but if people seek another person's Amy, why get mad? Why not just find the Amy in YOU? You may have some Amy in your swag, but if you're hating on MY Amy how is anybody gonna ever even see, let alone seek YOUR Amy?
If you're a No Butt Nancy, being friends with Big Booty Judy may be intimidating and that's probably why members of The Booty Brigade typically are friends with only each other. And not that I'm begging No Butt Nancy's for friendship, I am asking for a decrease in the hateration. Big Booty Judy's make great friends and actually have brains, hearts, feelings and all that other stuff that makes you human. Everybody has one thing about them that sticks out so if everybody learns to love and promote that one thing then maybe we'll actually see a decrease in booty discrimination but until then:
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I'm Not That Into You
Not to sound arrogant or anything but a lot of guys approach me. Yea, sometimes I may come across a cool cat but when I don't, I don't really know how to end the situation. When it comes to breaking up and ending relationships I can handle that. You have a list of reasons and situations ready to back your decision so it's not really that hard. However, when it's just a guy that I was trying to get to know and don't really like him, what do you say? I mean, naturally a person may want to know what they did to turn you off, but if it's one of those situations where you just aren't feeling a person's energy, how do you explain that without sounding psychotic?
Friday, March 5, 2010
You Do Not Get A Pass!
From http://www.blog.fatcatclothingco.com/
Custom. Elegant. Exciting. New. Fierce. These are some of the words that come to mind along with the word fashion. In some cases, even gay. I mean, let's face it. A lot of gay men are involved in the world of fashion. Some in secret, some out, some good and some bad. Very bad.
And what's worse is, the world seems to be ok with it! A gay man can dress as out of this world as he wants to and nobody says a thing! This has been going on since I can remember!
From Elton John to Adam Lambert hell, even Dennis Rodman, gay men just seem to do whatever they want when it comes to fashion! I'm not sure where this misconception came from, but I want to tell the world "BEING A GAY MAN DOES NOT GIVE YOU A FASHION PASS!" I mean really, a duck suit? More makeup than Elizabeth Taylor? A green cock a doodle doo?
This all stems from the other day when I was checking out of the grocery store. The young man working should have been arrested for the felonies he committed against fashion. He had dreadlocks with bright orange tips even though he was dark as the night is long, white frames (not glasses because there were no lenses), lip gloss for the masses and his uniform shirt had to have been the last one in stock because I hope the manager didn't give him a M shirt since he was clearly a 3X kinda man.
That was just from the waist up! I couldn't see his bottom half but I'm sure it was a mess! When I pointed out all his wrongdoings to my friend, she said
"Well, you see he's gay."
And I looked at her and said
"What does that have to do with anything?"
In my mind, if anything, a gay man should be dressed to the nines! Not dressed like an overlooked extra from "Nine" the movie. Yes, fashion is typically associated with gay men and fashion sometimes goes to the left. You know, at one point some of everything has been done in fashion so in today's time, I guess it's "expected" of people to go far left. Being allowed dress like you're blind and picked your clothes out in the dark simply because you're gay...is not ok.
If I leave the house looking like a crayon box explosion of colors, textures and prints nobody would wait 30 seconds before the comments started, but because a man just so happens to be gay he gets a pass?
America and citizens all over the world, we have to stand up and say NO to visionary trauma's caused by all people and stop giving any one particular group a fashion pass. Everybody has to be held accountable! If you want to do it big on the runway, special night or events that's ok. Dressing like you rolled around in a vintage store after hours even though you may be at work, school, church or a family function is not ok.
Tell us what you think! Do you think people should be able to dress how they want, when they want, where they want OR do you feel like there are rules to everything...including fashion!
Custom. Elegant. Exciting. New. Fierce. These are some of the words that come to mind along with the word fashion. In some cases, even gay. I mean, let's face it. A lot of gay men are involved in the world of fashion. Some in secret, some out, some good and some bad. Very bad.
And what's worse is, the world seems to be ok with it! A gay man can dress as out of this world as he wants to and nobody says a thing! This has been going on since I can remember!
From Elton John to Adam Lambert hell, even Dennis Rodman, gay men just seem to do whatever they want when it comes to fashion! I'm not sure where this misconception came from, but I want to tell the world "BEING A GAY MAN DOES NOT GIVE YOU A FASHION PASS!" I mean really, a duck suit? More makeup than Elizabeth Taylor? A green cock a doodle doo?
This all stems from the other day when I was checking out of the grocery store. The young man working should have been arrested for the felonies he committed against fashion. He had dreadlocks with bright orange tips even though he was dark as the night is long, white frames (not glasses because there were no lenses), lip gloss for the masses and his uniform shirt had to have been the last one in stock because I hope the manager didn't give him a M shirt since he was clearly a 3X kinda man.
That was just from the waist up! I couldn't see his bottom half but I'm sure it was a mess! When I pointed out all his wrongdoings to my friend, she said
"Well, you see he's gay."
And I looked at her and said
"What does that have to do with anything?"
In my mind, if anything, a gay man should be dressed to the nines! Not dressed like an overlooked extra from "Nine" the movie. Yes, fashion is typically associated with gay men and fashion sometimes goes to the left. You know, at one point some of everything has been done in fashion so in today's time, I guess it's "expected" of people to go far left. Being allowed dress like you're blind and picked your clothes out in the dark simply because you're gay...is not ok.
If I leave the house looking like a crayon box explosion of colors, textures and prints nobody would wait 30 seconds before the comments started, but because a man just so happens to be gay he gets a pass?
America and citizens all over the world, we have to stand up and say NO to visionary trauma's caused by all people and stop giving any one particular group a fashion pass. Everybody has to be held accountable! If you want to do it big on the runway, special night or events that's ok. Dressing like you rolled around in a vintage store after hours even though you may be at work, school, church or a family function is not ok.
Tell us what you think! Do you think people should be able to dress how they want, when they want, where they want OR do you feel like there are rules to everything...including fashion!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Thrill Is Gone
In St. Louis, everybody has to be seen and heard and this is something we learn very young. It all started with something called a "lock in". Who wants to be locked in anywhere and why? Who, is little, screaming, sneaking 9-15 year olds at various skating rinks around the city. Why? Because the parents of little, screaming, sneaking 9-15 year olds took it as a night off. We heard about lock ins a month in advance, and it gave plenty of time for matching outfits to be bought, hair to be pressed and lines to be stood in for the new J's. It was all the rave to the small children of St. Louis and everybody had to be there!
Now, my mother didn't let me go to lock ins. I guess she already knew what was up (Plus, even if I did go there was still a house full of kids, so it really wasn't a night off her anyway)! And what was up, was everything. OMG, if you didn't go to the lock ins you were the wackest, lamest, nobodiest kid at school. Trust me, I know. Kids came back on Monday talking about the fun they had and I sat quietly during these times wishing I could be in on the action...Not really, I just walked away and would read or something which is how I slipped into Land of the Nerds.
Though I did miss "the lock in era" I caught up fully on my clubbing! I lived and died to go the club. Started my club planning on Tuesday morning! Left school early on Thursday's to find an outfit before my shift at the mall started. Friday's were all about planning who is stealing their mom's car, what time is so and so's curfew and who was out til the sun came up! No, not in college. This was just HIGH SCHOOL! That's just how hard the club scene goes! It's all about being seen and like I said you learn early.
So now, years after high school, when I'm supposed to be enjoying my freedom and weekends off, I'm in the house. WHY? Because I'm burnt out on St. Louis clubs!!! Not clubbing, just St. Louis clubs. When I go out of town, I have a ball! There are different people, they look different, the atmosphere is different...it just feels like clubbing should!
But here, I really feel "locked in". Smushed from wall to wall, couldn't leave if you wanted to because traffic is bananas, same people I went to school with or my sister went to school with or lived down the street from my grandma,people matched up but not on purpose but because everybody shops at the same store, gets their hair done/cut by the same person, got their purse/J's from the same flea market stand who THEN have the nerve to look at you funny because YOU don't look like THEM, competing over dudes/women, got a funky screwed up face because they think you may be after their dude/woman and after a while it really becomes not worth it.
Especially when you get charged an arm and a leg to park, another arm and leg to jump the line, your left eye for the VIP booth only to find out it DOESN'T come with a bottle and the waitress is not that cute, not nice at all and doesn't even have a fat ass! They won't let you smoke AND they let stagglers in your booth AND they won't even let the guy paying the bar tab wear a fitted cap! So everybody is standing there with no arms, legs, missing a left eye, trying to drink in a booth crowded with strangers and saggy pants, ugly waitress who doesn't really care.
And yes, it's about the money. Not that you may not have it to blow, but wouldn't you rather blow money and feel good when it's all over? Like, when you leave the mall with a bag of shoes...That feels good. Spending that same amount to get a C- night, doesn't feel too good. If you're gonna take people's money like that, you should guarantee at least a B+ night...I'm just saying.
This is an opinion based off of MY most recent club cycle...I haven't been "out" in St. Louis since like....December. And that was ONLY because it was Steph's birthday. Before that, I couldn't even tell you the last time I went to a club for pure enjoyment/non work related reasons. I haven't even been to Lure or Plush at ALL! Why? Because I feel like I already know what and who I'm gonna see especially since I joined Facebook!
So now, for all the people who wonder why they never see me out and who ask me why I don't go out anymore, this is why. If the club scene has changed and shit isn't really how it used to be, let me know. If I'm over-reacting, let me know. Fuck it, if you have a club/bar/tavern/saloon that you think I should go to, let me know because for me the thrill is gone.
Monday, March 1, 2010
formspring.me
Would you rather be a zombie or a mummy?
IDK...Either way I'd have to chase and hunt for my food and I don't know if I'd like that too much. I kinda like my food already dead.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Fire up Mom!
The other day I saw a clip for the soon to end "Tyra" show and saw that she was talking about "Marijuana Moms". "What in the hell is that?" I asked myself, only to find out it was exactly what she said. She did an "expose" on mothers who smoke the holiday (weed, reggie, kush, pot or whatever you call it).
This seems to be the newest thing for people to criticize each other over but it isn't anything new to me at least. Every person, including parents, has a coping method that helps them get through any given day or situation. Some meditate, pray, gamble, drink and if a person chooses to blaze one for the poor one does that make him/her less of a parent?
One of the concerns is the influence it has over the child. Seeing a parent, or anybody for that matter, high or getting high will make any kid ask a couple of questions of course. And as the nosey kid I was with 3 older sisters I saw people getting high, coming home high and all that but never thought that smoking was something I was supposed to do and it didn't make me run to the weed man.
Of course the main issue is the safety of the child which makes people compare "pot parents" to "crackhead parents". I definitely don't advocate crack parents but most don't even recognize that he/she is even a parent just like non drug involved addictions such as gambling and drinking. These addictions often end families, marriages and even careers and often involve all types of abuse. So in that case, children are safer in the care of people who aren't addicts.
So if you compare it to other addictions then maybe there needs to be a stop to "marijuana moms". If I compare it to an addiction though it would have to compared on all sides. So that means when people say the line between addiction and hobby is that an addiction interferes with the daily operation of your day to day life. If it HELPS, as claimed by "marijuana moms" and proven by science, then this may fall into the hobby category.
I do recognize that smoking is an illegal activity and that someone not having a kid doesn't making any more legal, but as long as you're on top of your parental gaming skills and you aren't eating all the kids snacks then the way a parent chooses to unwind at the end of the day shouldn't be of concern to anybody....BUT that's just me.
So where do you fall in? Do you think that parents shouldn't smoke?
Friday, February 19, 2010
Don't Call Me THAT!
Now this wasn't a glorious, uplifting whenever people say it your spirit brightens, lips spread and the only thing brighter than your aura is the gleam from your teeth kind of name. You know, something like Funny Fred or Pretty Tony. Oh no, it was one of those loudly yelled, intent on embarassing, hang your head in shame nicknames...you know, you got your Musty Mike and Pissy Mark type deals.
I guess. I only say I guess because this friend answered to the name at the time. Now the name, to me, wasn't anything too greatly offensive but I wasn't the one being called this. But anyway, as a 11-18 year old smart alac, I didn't call him anything but. I kept using the name and he kept answering. Now, I call him that like his name, not being funny or intentionally rude but I guess it's just out of habit...
Once this happened I was thinking about how many other people have ridiculous or embarrassing nicknames from childhood, high school or anywhere else and if makes them flush with not anger, but a lil something that says "That's not my name!"
I know I had one and you wouldn't guess, but it was "Fathead" (go figure).
It's a family name that has many renditions from Fathead to Bigolhead to Fatolhead that they even attempted to put on my son! And I don't remember what event exactly but when I was like 17, I stood up at a family dinner and was like "Enough! That's NOT my name people!" They stopped calling me that, but once my son was born, they tried to bestow it upon him. And I had to slightly snap out again, but all is cool now. His name is simply (to my mom only) is "Likyhead".
I know there had to be one in high school but I don't remember it. Oh yeah there was one..."Big Booty Erica".
Like people didn't call me that really to my face but like if it was a conversation about an "Erica" It'll be like: You know, Erica?
Erica Who?
Big Booty Erica!
Oh yeah, what about her?
Yea, I hated that too. Then. I guess I've had no choice but to grow into and accept it now lol! But anything besides that I don't know. It has to be stowed in the locker of high school memories I purposely forgot the combination to but I'm sure you guys have some...
What's the one nickname you had/have that you absolutely despise and why?
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