Shut Up Sometimes...

"Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has discovered an idea and thinks it's his own"
 --Sydney J. Harris


They have always said that curiosity killed the cat. I agree, because when you snoop around in something you don't have any business in, it usually comes back to burn you. However, I'm wondering if something else assisted in killing the cat. The something else I'm thinking about is arrogance. Think about it. The only reason the cat would venture into whatever is spiking his curiosity, has to be that he is CONVINCED that nothing bad can result of it. Take it like when your boo leaves to run to the store and leaves the oh so precious BlackBerry behind and you're CONVINCED that you have enough time to do a little Snoop Trooping...until they come back and you're stuck with the "I can explain" face.

Arrogance can kill you or your most precious idea. In business and in your personal life it's important to remain humble or that'll be the main ingredient in the next pie you eat. No matter how you live your life, it's not fair to judge other people or believe that your idea and your say so is "above" someone else's. Better than, that's ok. More realistic, cool. Finacially feasible, even better. But know that nobody can be right all the time...not even you. Even if everybody around you is wrong, and you not only believe but know and have proof that what you are saying is the way to go, being ignorantly obnoxious is not going to get people to see things your way.

Take example from our president. In his recent interview with Oprah, he was asked how he felt about the criticism from supporters and non-supporters and how it affects him personally.The president responded by saying that he knows what he's doing is correct and firmly stands by his decisions. He included that he can't convince or force people to believe that what he's doing is right. He can only continue to do right and eventually that light will shine. Now he was also humble enough to say that if it turns out he is wrong, he will accept the repurcussions and not try to spin his way out of it ( sneak diss to George Dubyah, and that's why I love my president).

I said that to say that we all have recieve criticism from different areas in life. Your mom, supervisor, boyfriend, child, friend, neighbor or whoever and we can't please everybody. It's ok to have confidence in how you live your life or what you believe in, but be real enough to know that we all are human and capable of being wrong. Be open to hear other people's ideas because you never know what knowledge or advantages somebody else can offer you. If you walk around like you're indestructible, it's only gonna hurt that much more when you fall down.

INDEPENDENT: The Bad and The Ugly

I hate I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T bitches.

I'm just so over this movement I don't know what to do. And to all the supporters and lovers of the "I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T" movement I just want you to keep these questions in mind as you read:


How are you going to "independently" be in a relationship?
How can you be "independently" married?
How are you "independently" a family?
How are you "independently" having sex with another person?

I just don't get it. I mean, maybe if I was part of  I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T movement I might be ok with this new found sense of getting something for nothing but I don't agree with "independently" going to work, "independently" paying bills, "independently" taking care of my son and then letting a nigga come fuck up my sheets...I might as well do that shit "independently" too. I mean, you want me to do all this at STILL give you some at the end of the day and you're not even gone leave me a tip on the nightstand in the morning? I don't care how you have me crawling up the walls, that shit is work too!

I saw a girl on Twitter who said that she believed the  "I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T" movement ruined the way black men and women relate to each other and it did. The natural balance of things is for men to provide and women to comfort. By instinct alone, a man wants to protect, provide for and support a woman and by the same right women gravitate towards doing all the stuff men are too tired to do after protecting, providing for and supporting all day. That's why we naturally want to cook for, check up on and all around cater to our man. Whether he's deserving or not, a woman feels like if it's her man (or just a dude we're "dealing with") she should do all the things he needs. And I don't do think it's anything wrong with that.

But if you're jumping around the club, tombout I.N.D.E this or five star that (I still love Yo Gotti though, *smooches*) or whatever else and all you need is that dick, how do you think that makes him feel? Especially when your bag is pleather, your shoes leant (yes, leant), your weave is nappy and your conversation is mediocre. Therefore, he treats you like all he need is that pussy and you all on Facebook saying how grief stricken you are. It goes so much deeper than that for me because the I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T movement provides this false sense of security and powerfulness in women, so that when you do need his help he looking at you like "Bitch, I thought you was independent?"

The most horrible thing about this whole movement is that women like me, who refuse to be used, lose in this situation. Why? Because when I let a man know, I am going to ask you for stuff and I don't like to be told no, they look at me like I'm crazy and I'm living in the twilight zone. Men say that they want an "independent" chick and that's cool because who wants a bitch that's just trying to suck your pockets dry, but you want me to do EVERYTHING for myself and STILL give you some?

Not that I'm this big spoiled baby, but I work hard everyday and have stresses coming from all angles. Being involved with a man is not supposed to increase these stresses. I know that no relationship is perfect or stress free but if you can't help me at least maintain but eventually improve my quality of life, there's no since in you being around. I use this philosophy when it comes to friends and jobs and men aren't any different because they have the secret weapon between their legs.

I love, love, love, love the secret weapon that men have but it's more to life than that. And when I say "improve my quality of life" that's not neccesarily "give me your whole check"...Like, if I work late on Friday's and you can take my son to the barber shop with you, that's what's up. If you can get your friends to buy clothes and pictures from me, that's what's up. If you can even fill my tank once a week to save me $50 to use towards the start up costs for my site, that's what's up...BUT if all you want is for me to come through between 10 and 5 and leave empty handed OR share all the amenities I "independently" earned, you got me wrong. Cuz shorty go her own, not OUR own right?

This may seem like gold digging or using to some but the great Mr. West (Kanye that is) said "Everybody gets used for something. If nobody can use you for anything, then consider yourself useless." So, it's something that everybody goes through. You wouldn't have a job if you couldn't provide whatever service for your employer and your employer wouldn't have you if they didn't have the money to pay you.

So, really it's not about "using", it's about knowing what you want and being able to turn away from whatever doesn't provide that. And I know what I want and it's cool that I haven't found it. I'll just be out here until then but it's two things I want to say. To the men of my generation, I just want to say all women are not "I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T". I know it's a lot of them between 18-25 but it's not everybody. I just want to ask all the "I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T" women of the world to calm that shit down because y'all are making it harder for the women who are trying to build something other than a man "independently" being with us.

*steps off soapbox*

Booty Insurance

When you hear "insurance" what do you think? Most of you go into the land of how you need it for your car and if you don't have it you're scared to drive in certain areas (raise your hands with me) or maybe even if it comes with your job or is included in your mortgage. Do you think about how you need for your children or if Lil Mann falls off the top bunk you're stuck with a 50 katrillion dollar hospital bill for getting 3 stitches? Or do you think about how you have it just in case something happens to you and you need a nest egg for your children and families? All of these things are completely normal and in fact predictable, but let me ask you guys a question: If you could, would you insure ANY of your body parts? What if your fame and fortune, bread and butter or all your chickens counted on one little body part? Would you do it????

Let's explore. A lot of celebrities have insurance on their body parts, from J-Lo to Rhianna to David Beckham to Mariah. They know that their money is based on their legs or voice or in me and J-Lo's case, the BOOTY. Now, I'm no celeb but I'm working on it in my own way and I'm no idiot so I know my golden ticket is the wagon I'm draggin. I have other talents and could excel in a plethora of fields but since I like looking good and being bad, getting paid for being me is the option I'm most interested in exploring. So, with that being said let me give you the background...

Friday night. Me, drunk, sitting on the ledge of a table, 6 inch heels on, tight ass jeans, with only my booty resting on the edge of this table. I'm feeling myself outrageously. Sing it with y'all: I'm looking good, I'm feeling good, I'm feeling good, yea, yea RATTLE RATTLE THUNDER CLATTER BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! I don't know what happened because I had been propped up on this table for about 5 minutes and all of the sudden, I was on the floor. I mean hard, right on my ass. You would think it was enough cushion for some pushin but nope. I feel so hard and really did hit what felt like...for lack of biological terms, my booty bone. Like seriously, I didn't even know it was bone in here but it really did hurt. I wish I could have seen the fall or my face because I'm sure it was hilarious. Ok, enough laughing. So I get up and dust my shoulders and my booty off and try to carry on with the evening but the pain was so intense I just went home. Now fast forward to Sunday night...After a hard day of nothing and cleaning, I go to take a bubble bath. I ran the water as hot as I could stand, had the bubbles flowing and had just finished blowing so I'm ready to just relax and potentially doze off in this water. As soon as I sit my meat on the porcelain, pain shudders through my bum from the same booty bone bruiser on Friday and it made me think : Do I need some booty insurance? 

I mean seriously folks I have plans for calendars, websites, more pictures with less clothes, books, promo tours, workout tapes, booty molds and whatever else merchandise you can market, sell and profit from by putting a big booty Bun E Bombshell on it. I'm just saying I'm trying to get some of the billions that flow through the booty/sex industry every year and I cannot do it with a bruised, lopsided or flat booty.

Now, I don't know if any insurance company would even listen to my claim to need booty insurance or how much it costs but if I'm trying to make it off this thing, why wouldn't I? I do know that I wish those Allstate hands would have been there to catch me Friday night! I haven't made millions of my bubble but I have made some things happen and the millions are possible. In the words of Chris Rock, you pay for insurance "in case shit happens". So, in the case I can't make million after million, I think I'mma need something. That's all I'm saying.

I know I go a little to the left, to the left sometimes but I just wanna know: If your livelihood depended on one thing, would you insure it? Why or why not?