The Telephone Game

Let's go back. Way back. Back into time. No, I'm not about break out in that Blackstreet song, but I do want you guys to go back with me. Back to "Do you like me? Circle "yes" or "no" notes or even exchanging notes outside of art class. Back to being so happy just to see his/her mother's name on the Caller ID. Back to wanting to know every single thing about him/her. Back to not being able to or even wanting to get off the phone at all. "You hang up!" "No, you hang up!" "On 3 hang up." "1...2...3....Hello? Why you ain't hang up?!?"

What I'm trying to get at, is why don't people talk on the phone anymore? I don't know if it's just me (I doubt it), but why is that when you give your number to a potential suitor, you don't talk unless it's making plans to see each other? Not even plans to have sex or "hook up", but it seems like the only time people call each other is to make plans, get directions or because whatever they have to say is too much to text. What happened to getting to know a person?????

I know that I'm not in high school anymore and like most people I have a lot going on. A son, two jobs, two blogs, a house to take care of and don't forget my social networking time! So I really don't have a lot of time to be up caking all night, but I'm saying it seems like my phone calls are always about when and where we'll be meeting up.

And it's not like these are the only times I speak to anybody at all, but the other 89% of the time, we communicate via text. What the fuck is up with that? I mean, I know people can't talk all the time and I love the convience of a quick text message, but if we just met why is texting the preferred form of communication? Like, people really ask "Can you text me sometime?"  You mean to tell me you want to text me to death for a week and then when we finally talk you sound like Alvin and you stutter? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I need to know these things before I get too wrapped up in your text stories!

Jodeci said "Can I talk to you?" not "Can I text you?" I know it's a different time we live in and everything moves so fast but can you really get to know a person via text or Facebook messages? That's insane. And even if you are making plans to see somebody, don't you have the right to know them first? In whatever way you want to? Can you really get to know when they're joking, when they're really mad, hear the emotion in thier voice, know what kind of laugh they have or anything?

I know I'm a hopeless romantic and I guess that makes me old school at the same time. I'll take being old school anytime if it means wanting a person to CALL me and see how my day went or CALL me to let me know they are thinking about me or CALL me just to say hi. I just don't want to be misunderstood when I say what's the point of giving you my number if you aren't going to call?

I'm Not That Into You

The gas station. Grocery store. Leaving the nail shop or even on your way to work. Everybody has been in a situation where a seemingly cool person approaches them and asks for the seven digits. Not everybody you say yes to, I mean we all have our standards, but when you get that one guy or girl who you hope is the one (or at least the one for right now) you can't help but to have a tinge of excitement in your tummy. Then, all of the sudden, you don't like 'em. After a couple phone conversations it's just over. DOA. Was never going anywhere...It happens so fast sometimes that you can't even explain it. You just know that this person is NOT somebody you even want to see again. What do you do then?

Not to sound arrogant or anything but a lot of guys approach me. Yea, sometimes I may come across a cool cat but when I don't, I don't really know how to end the situation. When it comes to breaking up and ending relationships I can handle that. You have a list of reasons and situations ready to back your decision so it's not really that hard. However, when it's just a guy that I was trying to get to know and don't really like him, what do you say? I mean, naturally a person may want to know what they did to turn you off, but if it's one of those situations where you just aren't feeling a person's energy, how do you explain that without sounding psychotic?

I really don't know what to do besides not answer my phone and hope they get the hint. This has never seemed to work for me though. I mean, you would think that after a few ignored/unreturned calls a person would get the hint, but they don't. The calls/texts may become a little more spaced out, but I don't want to deal with that sporadic call.  Plus, I'm almost 25 so I think I'm too old to play this game. I want to be able to just tell a guy, "I'm not really feeling this. We haven't been talking that long but I don't really feel anything with you so I'mma just keep it moving."  But I don't come off as rude or stuck up or anything like that. So my question is now, how do you just tell somebody that you haven't been talking to a long time that you really aren't feeling them without hurting feelings? Is that even possible?

You Do Not Get A Pass!

From http://www.blog.fatcatclothingco.com/


Custom. Elegant. Exciting. New. Fierce. These are some of the words that come to mind along with the word fashion. In some cases, even gay. I mean, let's face it. A lot of gay men are involved in the world of fashion. Some in secret, some out, some good and some bad. Very bad.




And what's worse is, the world seems to be ok with it! A gay man can dress as out of this world as he wants to and nobody says a thing! This has been going on since I can remember!



From Elton John to Adam Lambert hell, even Dennis Rodman, gay men just seem to do whatever they want when it comes to fashion! I'm not sure where this misconception came from, but I want to tell the world "BEING A GAY MAN DOES NOT GIVE YOU A FASHION PASS!" I mean really, a duck suit? More makeup than Elizabeth Taylor? A green cock a doodle doo?



This all stems from the other day when I was checking out of the grocery store. The young man working should have been arrested for the felonies he committed against fashion. He had dreadlocks with bright orange tips even though he was dark as the night is long, white frames (not glasses because there were no lenses), lip gloss for the masses and his uniform shirt had to have been the last one in stock because I hope the manager didn't give him a M shirt since he was clearly a 3X kinda man.



That was just from the waist up! I couldn't see his bottom half but I'm sure it was a mess! When I pointed out all his wrongdoings to my friend, she said



"Well, you see he's gay."



And I looked at her and said



"What does that have to do with anything?"



In my mind, if anything, a gay man should be dressed to the nines! Not dressed like an overlooked extra from "Nine" the movie. Yes, fashion is typically associated with gay men and fashion sometimes goes to the left. You know, at one point some of everything has been done in fashion so in today's time, I guess it's "expected" of people to go far left. Being allowed dress like you're blind and picked your clothes out in the dark simply because you're gay...is not ok.


If I leave the house looking like a crayon box explosion of colors, textures and prints nobody would wait 30 seconds before the comments started, but because a man just so happens to be gay he gets a pass?



America and citizens all over the world, we have to stand up and say NO to visionary trauma's caused by all people and stop giving any one particular group a fashion pass. Everybody has to be held accountable! If you want to do it big on the runway, special night or events that's ok. Dressing like you rolled around in a vintage store after hours even though you may be at work, school, church or a family function is not ok.



Tell us what you think! Do you think people should be able to dress how they want, when they want, where they want OR do you feel like there are rules to everything...including fashion!

The Thrill Is Gone

I've lived in this lovely *rolls eyes* city of mine all my life. I've seen it all and done it all and there is nothing new for me to do here. Well that's how I feel anyway.

In St. Louis, everybody has to be seen and heard and this is something we learn very young. It all started with something called a "lock in". Who wants to be locked in anywhere and why? Who, is little, screaming, sneaking 9-15 year olds at various skating rinks around the city. Why? Because the parents of little, screaming, sneaking 9-15 year olds took it as a night off. We heard about lock ins a month in advance, and it gave plenty of time for matching outfits to be bought, hair to be pressed and lines to be stood in for the new J's. It was all the rave to the small children of St. Louis and everybody had to be there!

Now, my mother didn't let me go to lock ins. I guess she already knew what was up (Plus, even if I did go there was still a house full of kids, so it really wasn't a night off her anyway)! And what was up, was everything. OMG, if you didn't go to the lock ins you were the wackest, lamest, nobodiest kid at school. Trust me, I know. Kids came back on Monday talking about the fun they had and I sat quietly during these times wishing I could be in on the action...Not really, I just walked away and would read or something which is how I slipped into Land of the Nerds.

Though I did miss "the lock in era" I caught up fully on my clubbing! I lived and died to go the club. Started my club planning on Tuesday morning! Left school early on Thursday's to find an outfit before my shift at the mall started. Friday's were all about planning who is stealing their mom's car, what time is so and so's curfew and who was out til the sun came up! No, not in college. This was just HIGH SCHOOL! That's just how hard the club scene goes! It's all about being seen and like I said you learn early.

So now, years after high school, when I'm supposed to be enjoying my freedom and weekends off, I'm in the house. WHY? Because I'm burnt out on St. Louis clubs!!! Not clubbing, just St. Louis clubs. When I go out of town, I have a ball! There are different people, they look different, the atmosphere is different...it just feels like clubbing should!

But here, I really feel "locked in". Smushed from wall to wall, couldn't leave if you wanted to because traffic is bananas, same people I went to school with or my sister went to school with or lived down the street from my grandma,people matched up but not on purpose but because everybody shops at the same store, gets their hair done/cut by the same person, got their purse/J's from the same flea market stand who THEN have the nerve to look at you funny because YOU don't look like THEM, competing over dudes/women, got a funky screwed up face because they think you may be after their dude/woman and after a while it really becomes not worth it.

Especially when you get charged an arm and a leg to park, another arm and leg to jump the line, your left eye for the VIP booth only to find out it DOESN'T come with a bottle and the waitress is not that cute, not nice at all and doesn't even have a fat ass! They won't let you smoke AND they let stagglers in your booth AND they won't even let the guy paying the bar tab wear a fitted cap! So everybody is standing there with no arms, legs, missing a left eye, trying to drink in a booth crowded with strangers and saggy pants, ugly waitress who doesn't really care.

And yes, it's about the money. Not that you may not have it to blow, but wouldn't you rather blow money and feel good when it's all over? Like, when you leave the mall with a bag of shoes...That feels good. Spending that same amount to get a C- night, doesn't feel too good. If you're gonna take people's money like that, you should guarantee at least a B+ night...I'm just saying.

This is an opinion based off of MY most recent club cycle...I haven't been "out" in St. Louis since like....December. And that was ONLY because it was Steph's birthday. Before that, I couldn't even tell you the last time I went to a club for pure enjoyment/non work related reasons. I haven't even been to Lure or Plush at ALL! Why? Because I feel like I already know what and who I'm gonna see especially since I joined Facebook!

So now, for all the people who wonder why they never see me out and who ask me why I don't go out anymore, this is why. If the club scene has changed and shit isn't really how it used to be, let me know. If I'm over-reacting, let me know. Fuck it, if you have a club/bar/tavern/saloon that you think I should go to, let me know because for me the thrill is gone.

Fire up Mom!

The other day I saw a clip for the soon to end "Tyra" show and saw that she was talking about "Marijuana Moms". "What in the hell is that?" I asked myself, only to find out it was exactly what she said. She did an "expose" on mothers who smoke the holiday (weed, reggie, kush, pot or whatever you call it).

This seems to be the newest thing for people to criticize each other over but it isn't anything new to me at least. Every person, including parents, has a coping method that helps them get through any given day or situation. Some meditate, pray, gamble, drink and if a person chooses to blaze one for the poor one does that make him/her less of a parent?

One of the concerns is the influence it has over the child. Seeing a parent, or anybody for that matter, high or getting high will make any kid ask a couple of questions of course. And as the nosey kid I was with 3 older sisters I saw people getting high, coming home high and all that but never thought that smoking was something I was supposed to do and it didn't make me run to the weed man.

Of course the main issue is the safety of the child which makes people compare "pot parents" to "crackhead parents". I definitely don't advocate crack parents but most don't even recognize that he/she is even a parent just like non drug involved addictions such as gambling and drinking. These addictions often end families, marriages and even careers and often involve all types of abuse. So in that case, children are safer in the care of people who aren't addicts.

So if you compare it to other addictions then maybe there needs to be a stop to "marijuana moms". If I compare it to an addiction though it would have to compared on all sides. So that means when people say the line between addiction and hobby is that an addiction interferes with the daily operation of your day to day life. If it HELPS, as claimed by "marijuana moms" and proven by science, then this may fall into the hobby category.

I do recognize that smoking is an illegal activity and that someone not having a kid doesn't making any more legal, but as long as you're on top of your parental gaming skills and you aren't eating all the kids snacks then the way a parent chooses to unwind at the end of the day shouldn't be of concern to anybody....BUT that's just me.

So where do you fall in? Do you think that parents shouldn't smoke?

Don't Call Me THAT!

The other day I was on Facebook and I ran across a picture of a friend from high school. The picture was funny and cute so I left a comment calling him by his high school nickname.

Now this wasn't a glorious, uplifting whenever people say it your spirit brightens, lips spread and the only thing brighter than your aura is the gleam from your teeth kind of name. You know, something like Funny Fred or Pretty Tony. Oh no, it was one of those loudly yelled, intent on embarassing, hang your head in shame nicknames...you know, you got your Musty Mike and Pissy Mark type deals.

I guess. I only say I guess because this friend answered to the name at the time. Now the name, to me, wasn't anything too greatly offensive but I wasn't the one being called this. But anyway, as a 11-18 year old smart alac, I didn't call him anything but. I kept using the name and he kept answering. Now, I call him that like his name, not being funny or intentionally rude but I guess it's just out of habit...

So anyway, not even thinking about how people grow up, mature and whatever else we do once we graduate, I couldn't believe it when he stopped me in my tracks and addressed me, demanding that I don't call him that anymore. I guess I really didn't think about how people change and live different lives and simply put, don't want to be called by dopey nicknames from their childhood!

Once this happened I was thinking about how many other people have ridiculous or embarrassing nicknames from childhood, high school or anywhere else and if makes them flush with not anger, but a lil something that says "That's not my name!"

I know I had one and you wouldn't guess, but it was "Fathead" (go figure).

It's a family name that has many renditions from Fathead to Bigolhead to Fatolhead that they even attempted to put on my son! And I don't remember what event exactly but when I was like 17, I stood up at a family dinner and was like "Enough! That's NOT my name people!" They stopped calling me that, but once my son was born, they tried to bestow it upon him. And I had to slightly snap out again, but all is cool now. His name is simply (to my mom only) is "Likyhead".

I know there had to be one in high school but I don't remember it. Oh yeah there was one..."Big Booty Erica".

Like people didn't call me that really to my face but like if it was a conversation about an "Erica" It'll be like: You know, Erica?

Erica Who?

Big Booty Erica!

Oh yeah, what about her?

Yea, I hated that too. Then. I guess I've had no choice but to grow into and accept it now lol! But anything besides that I don't know. It has to be stowed in the locker of high school memories I purposely forgot the combination to but I'm sure you guys have some...

What's the one nickname you had/have that you absolutely despise and why?